BDSM 101 - Class 01: Making an Omelette - Breaking Some Eggs

Hello class. This is BDSM 101. I'm Professor Pud. This class is for beginners, novices, and the curious, and today I'm going to go over what this class will cover and what will be expected of you. you will be able to interact with me 2 ways: by either commenting to these posts, or by private email (to pud@blackboots.org) I prefer that you use comments so that the rest of the class has the benefit of your questions and insights. If you want to email me privately, keep your questions short, I'll either answer you privately, or incorporate my answers into the next class. These following rules are for emailing me, and commenting to BDSM 101 posts.

We're going to be fairly informal here, and I won't be busting your balls or tits if you make a mistake. But we will observe some Protocol formalities. Whether or not you self-identify as submissive or dominant, you'll address Me as either Sir or Professor [Pud]. you'll capitalize My Pronouns - [You, Your]. you'll begin and end each post with Sir or Professor. If you self-identify as a sub or switch, or if you don't self-identify at all, then I will address you as a submissive, and your own pronouns will always be lower case, even when they begin a sentence (i, me, my). If you self identify as dominant, then I'll address you neutrally, as per normal English usage.

Now back to the class.

BDSM 101 is a cliché of a sort. There are books, web sites, and workshops that all utilize the term: "BDSM 101." Usually they teach terminology, basic safety negotiations, elementary etiquette, and rudimentary examinations of dress codes and behaviors. This class will touch on those subjects, but My main focus will actually be on the philosophy, sociology and semiotics of BDSM. Even though it's a cliché I'm going to keep the term "BDSM 101" for a few reasons. One, it's easy to remember and to find on the internet. Two, the BDSM community could make use of a novice course that reflects Next Guard thinking. Three, this course is a precursor to higher level courses - BDSM 201, 301, 401 that will explore more advanced explorations and disciplines.

Are you curious about a flogger? well you can buy one on eBay! Are you puzzled about the Hanky Code? or how to tie a slipknot? or how to spit polish boots? well you can Google it and find out! What does that mean? that the Specifics of BDSM, the tools, the symbols, and the techniques, they aren't the Great Mysteries, administered by the Old Guard Great Hierophants and Priestesses, that they used to be. The Specifics are readily accessible via the marketplace and the internet. Of course, it's usually more fun, informative, and enriching to play and learn with a more experienced player. Nothing takes the place of direct physical knowledge. But sometimes those players are hard to meet. So, if you have the patience to read and study and learn, and also, if you have the forebearance to stay sober and pay close attention to a partner and to yourself, then you can explore BDSM and be your own teacher and your own student. This class is a resource for you to learn from, and from which to teach yourself how to learn more.

In this class I'll teach you Specifics: techniques, for example: "How to get flogged and how to find the joy in it." I'll also teach you "How to wield a flogger the first time, and give joy instead of merely pain and distress." But I'll also place an emphasis on the Abstracts of BDSM, because the abstract ideas that underlie BDSM, those are our common ground, our common playspace, our common tools, our common history, our common context. And by situating the BDSM Specifics, among this context - the BDSM Abstracts, you'll be able to have a deeper understanding of each Specific, and more importantly you'll have a sound basis for creatively designing new BDSM Specifics of your own. That combination - of old school context, together with new school creativity, is the hallmark of the Next Guard.

This first class is about an Abstract of BDSM and is subtitled "Making an Omelette". That metaphor relates to two things: one, we're going to break a few eggs today - meaning that you're going crack your mind and emotions open, and begin to examine your inclinations or yearnings for BDSM. This doesn't mean psychoanalysis - discovering the reasons why you have these inclinations is NOT the goal. The goal is merely to honestly assess what are your desires.

In our second class, we'll talk about a Specific of BDSM, and refer to the second meaning of "Making an Omelette" we'll discuss how to make something very basic, but very tasty, and very excellent - a Good Basic BDSM Scene.

Now let's break some eggs. So what are your desires? The philosopher Gilles Deleuze believed that we never have unique desires. I don't want "food" or "drink" or "shelter" or "sex". Even infants don't want the merely singular antidotes to their needs. Instead Deleuze believed that a desire a person expresses, for example: food, is actually a System or Set of Desires: hot, salty, juicy, rich, crunchy, aromatic, and so on. And so for sex it's also the same. When we fantasize a lover, or Master or Mistress, or a slave, it's not merely that generic definition we yearn for, instead our image of what we desire flowers into a Desire Set: tall or short, hairy or smooth, sweet or stinky, powerful or passive, visible or hidden, cruel or kind, loving or dismissive, and so on.

So your first exercise in this class is to go deep and ask yourself what system or set of desires is most powerful for you? This is not about asking yourself "why?" The "why" is about psychoanalysis, and is not important in this exercise. This exercise is written and private. There may be parts of this exercise that you would like to share. But for this exercise to be truly useful to you, you're going to have to go very deeply into extremely private areas of your mind, and there should be elements that remain private.

The first requirement of this exercise is to find a way to write, or a place to write that is truly private. Perhaps you have a computer log in name, to which only you know the password. Perhaps you can encrypt your text with a password. Perhaps you have a place to keep writings that only you have access to: a locked cabinet for example.

Once you're sure of your complete privacy, then you can begin. On one page, or one computer file, you're going to fully describe one Desire Set. A Desire Set includes everything you desire in a lover, Master or Mistress, or slave. And I mean everything. Write down what your ideal partner would be: appearance, attitude, sound of voice, smell, profession or job, origin, intelligence, sense of independence or dependence, habits, talents, sensitivities, proclivities, fetishes, attributes, everything you can possibly think about. If you can't choose between one desire or another, then list them all, if you have desire for more than one person, for example: a lover and a Mistress, or a spouse and a slave , then either start a new computer file or get out another sheet of paper for each individual you desire. Perhaps you have several types that interest you - a robust muscled type - a slight willowy type - a young inexperienced type - a mature expert type.

This should take at least an hour. you should cover at least a page for each individual desire set. If you have a large desire imagination, then this exercise might run long, you might have several Desire Sets to write about. That's a wonderful thing. Keep your Desire Sets private and safely protected. We'll be referencing and using your Desire Set throught this course. you'll find as you learn more about BDSM that your Desire Set will change, some areas will grow, and some areas you'll edit or excise.

you have one week to complete this assignment. Next class will begin with a quiz.